SM & BDSM Terms

The following terms commonly used in the Dominant & Slave/ Submissive relationship which includes terms used in the SM & BDSM community.

B/D – Bondage and discipline.

Bondage – To be restricted by bonds or straps as a disciplinary, corrective treatment.

Discipline – Corrective treatment by a Dominant.

Domestic training – Household chores, intimate & humiliating.

English culture – The use of whips, canes, straps. etc.

Erotic – Sexual.

Exhibitionism – Showing of one’s nude body in front of the Dominant.

Master – Male dominant.

Mistress – Female dominant.

Slave – The receiving person in BDSM or SM.

Submissive – Passive one who wishes to be dominated or to lay back and enjoy.

Servile – Enjoys being ordered around.

Contract – A written-out agreement between the Dominant & Slave/ Submissive. It can be either formal or non, and is usually written after much negotiation by the dominant and the Slave/ Submissive outlining what structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries to the relationship are agreed upon by the two.

Collared – Submissive or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple persons collared. Also: a pup’s status, as differentiated from a “stray”.

24/7 – A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously.

Dom/ Top – A person who exercises control (from Dominant-contrast with a Submissive/ Slave).

Master/slave – A consensual relationship in which one person receives control (the Master) when given it by another (the slave) for mutual benefit. An extreme form of D/s which usually involves a 24/7 relationship rather than a short period of time (scene or perhaps a weekend.) The slave will usually accept a collar from their Master to show that they are owned.

Harem – A group of Submissive/ Slave girls serving one or more dominants.

Animal transformation fantasy – Fantasy in which the focus is on the sub entering the altered mind space of a different species, often a dog, cat, or horse.

Animal Play – The sub acts or dresses like an animal (puppy, cat, pony, cow, etc).

K-9 role-play – animal role-play where the animal being role-played is a dog

Ponygirl or Ponyboy – Sub is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.

Slave Girl Training – Either referring to a short period of time (a scene) or an ongoing effort of the dominant teaching the Submissive/ Slave Girl how to act and behave.

Bondage – Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Bondage typically refers to total restraint, however it can be limited to a particular body part.

Chastity – A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner, usually by means of a device (called a chastity belt or sometimes for men a cock cage) that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner.

Dungeon – Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space.

Soft Limits – Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, or preferably it may be negotiated at a trial or beginner level into a scene.

Hard limits – What someone absolutely will not do; non-negotiable. (As opposed to “soft limits.”).

Hogtie – To tie up a submissive’s wrists and ankles, fastening them together behind their back using physical restraints such as rope or cuffs.

Munch – A group of people that are into BDSM meeting at a “vanilla” place in street-appropriate attire. Sometimes this is a club. You might see an announcement like, “This weekend’s munch is at Denny’s”.

Safe-word – A code-word a bottom can use to force BDSM activity to stop – used especially in scenes which may involve consensual force.

Service-oriented submission – A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment.

Vanilla – Someone who is not into BDSM. Alternatively, sexual behavior which does not encompass BDSM activity. The term is sometimes used in a derogatory sense.